so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
