the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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