right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
