What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
now i know why i became what i already was.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
