I am midnight drunk by noon
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
