Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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