She announced her abortion via fbk
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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