I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
