i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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