Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
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