I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
