this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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