no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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