I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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