there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
