And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
