was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Help me help you realize you are a moron
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
