He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
