nut hugger
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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