take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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