I think im going to throw up on grandma
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
