Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
