its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
