I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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