I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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