he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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