So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
