I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
