Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
