when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
