In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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