I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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