im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
