im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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