So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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