just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
