i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
