I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
