so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
