chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
