guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Farmville is her only friend.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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