Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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