life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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