Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
