he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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