Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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