I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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