I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
