I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
