The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
